Six Months

Dear Rhea,

You, my sweet girl, turned six months old this week...six months of our new life together...somehow, even though every moment we have had has seemed remarkable and noteworthy, I can hardly believe it has been so long. In the past six months you have turned my life inside out and upside down in the most wonderful of ways.

Your first month I began my journey as a mother and was awed by the immensity of feeling that accompanied that journey. You were born at my favorite time of the year and luckily I had insisted that we get our Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving because you came not so long after that (I was quite a sight climbing the hills in Santa Cruz 39 weeks pregnant and searching for the best tree...your first tree). Many of my first memories of you are enhanced by the smell of fir and the sparkling color of lights. Even as a brand new baby you loved those lights and we spent countless hours in front of the tree watching you watching them. We enjoyed a steady steam of family and friends who rallied around us to welcome you into the world. You have been so thoroughly loved from the moment you joined us. You created a family just by being.

Though you didn't cry often, when you did your cries felt like lightning bolts to my heart and I did everything in my power to hold you close and try to anticipate your every need to keep from hearing those cries. I still laugh when I think of the time I was trying to get some rest and your Papa and Grammy were taking care of you...I awoke to your cries and went running into the living room to "rescue" you...convinced you had been crying forever and that nobody had woken me up like I asked them too (I was later informed that you had just belted out one good yell when I came rushing into the room my white bathrobe streaming behind me in my haste). Luckily your Papa and Grammy have a good sense of humor and could laugh about me behind my back to keep themselves sane.

Your second month brought real smiles and a growing relationship with the world. We watched your every move with the passion of new parents and fell deeper and deeper in love with you with each passing day. You were such an alert little girl and you held your head up and seemed to take everything in with your big staring eyes. You gave us the gift of seeing the world for the first time again and everything seemed sharper and more in focus. Sometimes I was brought to my knees by the beauty I had forgotten to notice that took place all around me everyday. And other times the world felt so uncertain, dangerous and out of my control as I imagined you someday navigating it on your own.

In your third month your personality started to shine through...a smiling girl with dimples you could lose your way in. You were always a sweet natured baby...rarely fussy and you generally only complained when hungry or tired. Which was very considerate to the new parents we were. You rolled over for the first time during this month and though this was a skill you didn't perform with much regularity, we still deemed you a overachieving genius. You started to really pack on the sweet baby rolls and looked so healthy and content it gave me great satisfaction as a nursing mama.

Your fourth month brought the belly laugh...a elusive occurrence in the beginning, this deep and guttural laugh always sounded as if you were on verge of hysteria...either laughter or crying and we could never be sure. You loved being outside and on our numerous walks around the neighborhood and through the park you would stare at the leaves against the sky...with a focus I found remarkable. You had a little trouble with strangers this month and felt most comfortable in your Mama or Papa's arms. Your cries became easier to discern as we had come to know each other so well and I was able to recognize the beginning of actual communication beyond the basics of hungry and tired. You started to sit up on your own much to our amazement which further cemented your role as overachieving genius.

In your fifth month your sweet and bubbly personality seemed to grow in leaps and bounds. You would melt into full body smiles when you recognized somebody you liked and our cat Stashu was very high on that list. You sat in your highchair and played with toys like a pro and with bittersweet joy I could see my newborn baby turning into a "real baby". You had favorite toys and books and became more vocal about needs that went above and beyond just the basics...learning about concepts such as joy, frustration and boredom. You started rolling so consistently your Papa was convinced that all his hard work and training (really nonstop encouragement) had made all the difference. I did my best to keep up with you along the way and was delighted to bear witness to the person you were becoming.

This past month has been the most amazing of all...and perhaps that is just because as always the stage you are currently in is my "favorite". There have been so many firsts I don't even know where to begin. Your new favorite place is in the kitchen sink where you splash with wild abandon and soak both your Papa and I to the bone. It is so clear the intention with which you approach things now and I watch you set your sights on a wanted object and attempt to will it into your hands...which involves much vocalization as your body hasn't quite caught up with your mind. You have taken to rolling yourself where you want to go...a task that is often accompanied with complaining on your part. I now challenge myself to allow you some frustration so that you might continue to push and learn and move yourself forward. Your Papa likes to remind me you do your best work when on the edge of melting down. He loves you so...I can hardly tell you with words how much...but I'm sure you can feel it.

You are almost a week into your seventh month and already it has been full of changes and growth. You are pushing yourself to crawl and you have added frustration to your vocabulary. You now love the attention of others and delight in making people smile. I feel so lucky to be your Mama and I look forward to a lifetime of it.

Much love,

Mama