Incentive

Rhea has been on the "verge" of crawling for close to a month now! It started when we were home in Massachusetts and we were all convinced she would be forwardly mobile by the end of that week...ok so we may have been a little optimistic (or delusional) but there has been progress:

1. May 30th-June 3rd. You could really see her intention to crawl...evidenced by lots of frustration, grunts in the general direction of where she seemed to want to go, eventually toppling over with varying degrees of force.

2. June 3rd-June 9th. Lots of grunting on the floor...attempting to push herself forward with her feet and slight backward movement with these attempts. Beginnings of lunging forward on her hands.

3. June 10th. Got herself up on her hands and knees! Absolutely breathtaking...she would have gotten a perfect score in the baby Olympics.

4. June 10th-June 16th. Increased backward crawling coupled with increased frustration as she watched the object of her desire move farther away from her the more she tried to get to it. She became a pro at this moving backwards and inevitably wedging herself in a corner of the room..she soon discovered that going nowhere was infinitely more frustrating than moving away from where you were trying to go.

5. June 17th-June 25th. Master of the roll and pivot. She learned she could move around the room in an abstract choreography that unfortunately still managed to avoid her intended destination...given her success with the roll and pivot it seems she decided to work on crawling , pulling herself up to standing, and walking all simultaneously...keeping this Mama on her toes while trying to decipher which task her squeal is telling me to help her with. She is in training for the baby ironman.

6. June 26th to present. Still bound and determined to reach her goal...this baby has the heart of an athlete I think. One of her favorite pastimes is to wiggle her way to a stack of blocks I have set up with the sole intention of letting her knock them down. You can just see the determination in her eyes...


And the satisfaction of a job well done!

The only thing she finds more motivating at the moment than these blocks? Why Stashu of course. I'm hoping Stashu becomes more adept at moving out of her way (he is still stubbornly standing his ground as alpha cat)...she has gotten very good at search and destroy missions.

Lovey Dovey

Today a much anticipated package came all the way from Tasmania! Rhea's little "lovey" a sweet baby doll made just for her. She is made with all natural fabrics and stuffed with sheep's wool to retain body heat and capture the sweet baby smell of the girl. The premise behind a lovey is to provide a transitional object that a baby can form a positive attachment to. This attachment is supposed to provide security and comfort and help them self soothe in times of anxiety or during new situations...or anytime a baby might find herself away from her Mama.

Introducing a lovey to your baby is encouraged in every baby book I have ever read that deals with helping children sleep well....which of course peaked my interest. I started to look into getting her one (around the same time I was ordering the organic crib mattress..still yet to be used btw) and found that there are a frightening number of items marketed as lovey's...frightening just in the fact that the many options can leave you wondering where to start. I decided to narrow it down by looking at natural products and eventually ran across a dollmaker on etsy. I loved the look of her basic baby doll so I contacted her to talk colors and eye color and a few weeks later Rhea's little lovey was born.

There was something so special about getting the package in the mail covered in airmail stickers and hailing from Tasmania of all places. I made a bit of a production of opening the package with Rhea and you should have seen her face when she first laid eyes on the doll...she broke into a huge grin, immediately reaching for it while launching into a babylicious babble fest. It was too cute for words. We nursed with her before bed and she held onto it and scratched at it like she often does to whatever part of me she can get a hold of with her little scissor nails. We shall see if she takes to it or not...I think she would be much happier with a plastic bag lovey, but I knew I wouldn't be able to take the stares at playgroup down the road.

I tried to get a good picture to capture her sweetness with the baby...but was having difficulty because Rhea was so tired (workman outside her window have kept her from napping for two days now...that is another post altogether...a post in which I nearly lose my mind and the poor workman pay the price).

Anyhow...here is the best picture I could get given the circumstances. I think she looks very serious here...and of course she is reaching for me pleading with me to put her out of her sleepless misery.

Summer Solstice

Things have been so full and busy here in the land of all things Rhea Sue, it seems we have been spending our time living life and less time writing about it. Funny, even in saying that, it is hard to really pinpoint what we have been so busy doing...it never ceases to amaze me how just watching our girl grow can be so all encompassing. That said, I don't want to miss recording all of our adventures however small, as I have found that one of the unexpected joys of writing this blog is sifting back through memories to pull out the brightest moments.

One of those memories that is blazing bright right now, is the Summer Solstice Baby Blessing that Rhea and I attended last Thursday. It took place in the magical (now I know magical is a strong adjective but you would have to know this home, and its owner, to know that I'm not being too freewheeling with my descriptions here) home of our most amazing Doula Catherine. Catherine lives up in the hills of Mill Valley in a home that was built by her parents in the 60's. This home has all of the hallmarks of everything I love in a structure...intriguing mid century architecture, a quiet and secluded setting, and the feel of a “family home”...a place where you know you are always welcome just as you are...even to pop by...and there will be a smiling face that is happy to see you and wants to feed you a delicious homebaked something or another. Sound too good to be true? I think that myself every time I find myself in Catherine's presence.

Now I imagine that some of you are thinking "Summer Solstice Baby Blessing!!! What the???” I have to admit it is one of those things that my pre-Mama self might not have embraced nor understood. I will even admit that I was still a little unsure on my drive across the bridge what I would encounter when I got there....I knew there would be a circle and blessings but I wondered how I would fit into it all this...being just a tiny bit skeptical of something so "groovy". But it was wonderful...and I will do my best to describe what I encountered...

The Summer Solstice delivered a beautiful bright sunshiny day. Catherine, her usual stunning earth mama self, had gone all out to transform her already comfortable home into a place deserving of the babies there to be acknowledged. Giant comfy floor pillows laid out in a circle, a hammock to rock babies in, a spread of food like you can't even imagine and in the center of it all a circle of candles laid on top of beautiful fabric. It was incredibly welcoming and held the air of a place in which something special was about to happen. Yet perhaps the most significant thing Catherine had done, was the act of gathering all of these Mama's and babies together (and even a couple Papa's) to actively recognize and rejoice in the new lives we had brought into the world and to create an opportunity to give thought to and articulate our hopes and dreams for our children.

We went around the room and each person had a chance to share what they hoped for their child, the world, whatever it was that felt most important to them. People shared on varying levels and there were many wishes for strong, happy, and healthy children and a world deserving of them. I began my blessing for Rhea by acknowledging she was named after her great grandmother and her grandmother certainly following a tradition of strong women. I found myself hoping for the basics of love and happiness but most significantly I found myself hoping that Rhea would always have a community of family and friends in which she felt accepted and safe and celebrated for who she is. I know that I have been blessed with this in my own life and hope to pass this on to my girl.

After someone had shared, we would all turn to the person and say “may it be so” affirming their hopes and dreams and joining with them in willing those hopes into fruition. Catherine would take a little bit of water (from a bowl that had been charging in the summer sun for three weeks) and touch the baby's head. This inevitably brought about some kind of reaction from the baby and general joy at that reaction from everybody else. When everyone had taken their turn sharing, Catherine passed around the bowl of water and we all took a sip passing it along to the next person..this completed the circle and signified the end of the ceremony. That afternoon got me thinking about the power of rituals and the role rituals can play in helping us feel more connected to others and even more connected to ourselves. There is something comforting and powerful in sharing a moment with others in a structured and conscious way.

This is a picture Catherine's son took...I love this picture because it captures some of the warmth of the day and of course because Hai Nhu and Evelyn are also in it (you can see little Rhea's head poking up from between my legs).

Following the blessings we all mingled and ate (and ate) and I for one felt the spirit of community and the comfort of like minded people. The weather continued to bring warmth and sunshine which allowed Rhea to have her first ever dip in a pool! (she really got into all that water blessing) She loved it even though the water was FREEZING! It was certainly a day to remember and a feeling I hope to hang onto for a very long time.

Jamon

I just had to post this series of pictures. They seem to really capture Rhea's ever expanding repertoire of expressions and increased relationship with the outside world. I think they are made even more sweet if you remember that it is her Papa (behind the camera and undoubtedly egging her on) she is reacting to in these pictures. This is what I imagine her thinking...

Hey Papa! What is this silly thing you put on my head!!

I'm not really sure what it is...but I like it!

I really really like it!

In fact, I don't think I have ever liked anything as much as I like this silly thing...except for maybe you Papa.

The First Supper...

Rhea had her first solid food on Father's Day (an appropriate father's day gift for a guy like Bert)...it felt strange to actually encourage her to put something in her mouth because lately I seem to spend the majority of my time trying to keep her from eating things (such as paper...mail...random things on the floor...Stashu) She approached the whole affair her usual discerning self. Despite my continuously asking her "what do you think" (as can be heard on the audio), she held back her decision on whether or not she was enjoying her food until she'd had ample time to experience each slight nuance of this new sensation. She seemed to move from very interested, to surprised, to skeptical, to very skeptical with an eventual backslide to slightly interested. And that was just the first bite! In the end we just gave her the spoon with some avocado on it and let her tackle it at her own pace.

Father's Day...

Fashion victim...

Over the past few days I have been attempting to accomplish the heroic task known as "sorting baby clothes". Those of you who know us well are aware that Rhea has been blessed with an amazingly generous Grammy who sends fabulous new clothes that arrive on our doorstep with startling regularity.

This task began as one on the "to do list"...not something I was looking forward to and not one particularly high on that list as it was easy to close the door to the nursery and pretend, for a little bit anyway, that it wasn't pressing. If it were not for the fact that I could no longer close dresser drawers and Rhea's crib had again become a storage cage (which now needs to accommodate her snazzy new organic mattress) I'm sure this task would still be languishing behind closed doors.

It began easily enough...I started to pull out all of the 3-6 month clothing...stacking what was too small in piles (which pretty much covered her floor) and neatly putting away the clothes that still fit . As I mentioned this was a process and one that I chipped away at while she was taking naps or when she went to bed. Today I decided that it was time to put the piles of clothes "away". Now I had (still have) grand ideas of separating the clothes into piles according to age and item of clothing (ie long sleeve onsies 3-6 mo. pants 0-3 mo. etc.) and storing them all very neatly and organized. But in the interest of getting her room together I decided to put the clothes into large bags "for now" and tackle the massive sorting effort at a "to be determined" later date.

Feeling somewhat proud of my progress I began to put her clothes into the bags when out of the blue and without warning...I found myself feeling profoundly sad. I sat amongst the piles of her baby clothes unfolding, holding up and refolding my carefully made piles. Amazed at the amount of memories that can be attached to little bits of cloth. I reminisced about the times she wore certain clothes...her little black and white checked dress with lady bugs (the first dress she ever wore)...all the tiny,now somewhat tattered, plain white onesies...her Levi jeans, cozy footie pajamas... (I could go on and on..even things she didn't have a chance to wear saddened me...because she had gotten so big and damn that *would* have been cute).

When I began this task the only emotion I would have expected to feel upon its completion would have been relief. But as usual I was thrown the Mama curve ball...yet another marker (and a very concrete one at that) of the passage of time. I was left wondering...how is it that you can so thoroughly welcome and celebrate each new step forward while at the same time so completely mourn all those baby steps left behind?

Papa's home!

3:30 gotta go....always something....3:40...now I'm finally out of here.
I love leaving work because it means I'm going home to be with my family. Today when I came in through the back door Rhea was sitting in her highchair focusing on the door attentively, somehow knowing that Papa is coming home. Her face lit up just as bright as can be when it was Papa coming through the door.
Papa's Home!
There is no better feeling than the rush of seeing your daughter's face light up when they see you. You can truly feel the love. The time between me coming home and her bedtime allways seems to go by so quickly. It never seems as though I can get enough time with my constantly changing little girl, but I try. I love sitting down with her on her blanket and watching her play with all her toys, making the cutest faces and just being a little love trying to talk and figure out how to do new things...it just makes you think how much there is to learn. I thought it would be nice to have some pictures of our time together on the blanket because I'll cherish it forever.

Is that food grade?

I used to wonder who the idiots were that needed the safety precautions on plastic bags. You know the one's that state "Warning this is not a toy. Keep this bag away from babies and children"?


Nobody mentioned that babies are drawn to these things like moths to a flame or that they could entertain themselves for approximately 15 minutes (very closely supervised of course) of intense bag play. It's kind of ironic how I have tried to put a ban on plastic toys...hilarious actually.

Baby raptor

Yes...I meant raptor..not rapture. Our little one has fingernails like knives these days...so much so that Bert and I are sporting matching facial wounds! These sharp little weapons are made even more deadly by her new preferred method of communicating. She has taken to expressing her joy/frustration/tiredness/boredom...you name it...by grabbing on tightly to whatever is closest to her (usually our faces) pulling it close to her and then ripping away her nails as if to punctuate whatever emotion she is experiencing. She gets so excited to see me these days (whether I come around the corner after walking out of the room or if she has been hanging with her Papa for a bit playing) I am constantly at risk for a shredding. It's like 10 little potential paper cuts to the face. No amount of nail maintenance on my part seems to alleviate the problem. Lets just hope her next phase of expressing herself comes along sooner than later. Though frankly I am sick enough with Mama love to find even this somewhat disfiguring trait endearing. I mean honestly you have to remember that those nails are attached to this baby.

Joesph Pilates would be proud...

Check out this amazing baby plank! I struggle to pull off this move in pilates and here Rhea is working it like a pro! She is really just on the verge of crawling...or at the very least a squirmy precursor to crawling.

And here she is practicing those crawling skills...she is attempting to reach a wanted toy...her vocalizations are pure determination with a splash of frustration thrown in!

Six Months

Dear Rhea,

You, my sweet girl, turned six months old this week...six months of our new life together...somehow, even though every moment we have had has seemed remarkable and noteworthy, I can hardly believe it has been so long. In the past six months you have turned my life inside out and upside down in the most wonderful of ways.

Your first month I began my journey as a mother and was awed by the immensity of feeling that accompanied that journey. You were born at my favorite time of the year and luckily I had insisted that we get our Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving because you came not so long after that (I was quite a sight climbing the hills in Santa Cruz 39 weeks pregnant and searching for the best tree...your first tree). Many of my first memories of you are enhanced by the smell of fir and the sparkling color of lights. Even as a brand new baby you loved those lights and we spent countless hours in front of the tree watching you watching them. We enjoyed a steady steam of family and friends who rallied around us to welcome you into the world. You have been so thoroughly loved from the moment you joined us. You created a family just by being.

Though you didn't cry often, when you did your cries felt like lightning bolts to my heart and I did everything in my power to hold you close and try to anticipate your every need to keep from hearing those cries. I still laugh when I think of the time I was trying to get some rest and your Papa and Grammy were taking care of you...I awoke to your cries and went running into the living room to "rescue" you...convinced you had been crying forever and that nobody had woken me up like I asked them too (I was later informed that you had just belted out one good yell when I came rushing into the room my white bathrobe streaming behind me in my haste). Luckily your Papa and Grammy have a good sense of humor and could laugh about me behind my back to keep themselves sane.

Your second month brought real smiles and a growing relationship with the world. We watched your every move with the passion of new parents and fell deeper and deeper in love with you with each passing day. You were such an alert little girl and you held your head up and seemed to take everything in with your big staring eyes. You gave us the gift of seeing the world for the first time again and everything seemed sharper and more in focus. Sometimes I was brought to my knees by the beauty I had forgotten to notice that took place all around me everyday. And other times the world felt so uncertain, dangerous and out of my control as I imagined you someday navigating it on your own.

In your third month your personality started to shine through...a smiling girl with dimples you could lose your way in. You were always a sweet natured baby...rarely fussy and you generally only complained when hungry or tired. Which was very considerate to the new parents we were. You rolled over for the first time during this month and though this was a skill you didn't perform with much regularity, we still deemed you a overachieving genius. You started to really pack on the sweet baby rolls and looked so healthy and content it gave me great satisfaction as a nursing mama.

Your fourth month brought the belly laugh...a elusive occurrence in the beginning, this deep and guttural laugh always sounded as if you were on verge of hysteria...either laughter or crying and we could never be sure. You loved being outside and on our numerous walks around the neighborhood and through the park you would stare at the leaves against the sky...with a focus I found remarkable. You had a little trouble with strangers this month and felt most comfortable in your Mama or Papa's arms. Your cries became easier to discern as we had come to know each other so well and I was able to recognize the beginning of actual communication beyond the basics of hungry and tired. You started to sit up on your own much to our amazement which further cemented your role as overachieving genius.

In your fifth month your sweet and bubbly personality seemed to grow in leaps and bounds. You would melt into full body smiles when you recognized somebody you liked and our cat Stashu was very high on that list. You sat in your highchair and played with toys like a pro and with bittersweet joy I could see my newborn baby turning into a "real baby". You had favorite toys and books and became more vocal about needs that went above and beyond just the basics...learning about concepts such as joy, frustration and boredom. You started rolling so consistently your Papa was convinced that all his hard work and training (really nonstop encouragement) had made all the difference. I did my best to keep up with you along the way and was delighted to bear witness to the person you were becoming.

This past month has been the most amazing of all...and perhaps that is just because as always the stage you are currently in is my "favorite". There have been so many firsts I don't even know where to begin. Your new favorite place is in the kitchen sink where you splash with wild abandon and soak both your Papa and I to the bone. It is so clear the intention with which you approach things now and I watch you set your sights on a wanted object and attempt to will it into your hands...which involves much vocalization as your body hasn't quite caught up with your mind. You have taken to rolling yourself where you want to go...a task that is often accompanied with complaining on your part. I now challenge myself to allow you some frustration so that you might continue to push and learn and move yourself forward. Your Papa likes to remind me you do your best work when on the edge of melting down. He loves you so...I can hardly tell you with words how much...but I'm sure you can feel it.

You are almost a week into your seventh month and already it has been full of changes and growth. You are pushing yourself to crawl and you have added frustration to your vocabulary. You now love the attention of others and delight in making people smile. I feel so lucky to be your Mama and I look forward to a lifetime of it.

Much love,

Mama

Homeward bound...

So many adventures to record and pictures to sort it is almost overwhelming. Needed to dip my toes back into the blogging pool just to get started. Our trip home was wonderful...much too short. Even though I knew I missed my New England family I did not realize how much. I felt so surrounded by love and support that it seemed to highlight some of the isolation I sometimes feel here in San Francisco as a stay at home mom. Someone was always around to heap loving attention on Rhea and she really seemed to flourish in all the hustle and bustle. I feel like she grew in leaps in bounds over the week and she had such an admiring audience to record each minute change. Just looking at how happy my parents look in this picture brings tears to my eyes. I am dreadfully homesick.