Preface

Sunday evening...the girl is blessedly asleep...and when the girl is asleep things feel right with the world.

We are getting ready for our first overnight trip as a family...leaving on Wednesday for a week! All the way back to Massachusetts...on a plane...for six hours...did I mention we had to take our girl with us...on that plane...for six hours???? Though I do have some trepidation about the traveling it is going to take to get there, I am so very excited to think about bringing Rhea home to New England. Even though I know that she will have no conscious recollection of this journey, it is important for me to make this trip. I'm looking forward to bringing her to the home I grew up in (which is currently housing some very excited grandparents) and introducing her to what can best be described as her Telepciak side of the family. Hopefully I can bank on her subconscious hanging onto the positive feelings of love, adoration, and the beauty of summertime in New England she is sure to experience.

I had heard it said countless times before Rhea was born that having a baby changes everything...and depending on who you talked to it was described as either the beginning or the end. While I will admit that there are chapters of my life that were brought to an end on December 3rd 2006, before they ended I would have thought I'd have missed them more. Honestly I miss certain things some...such as sleeping when I want to without interruption and the body I used to have...but I must say I am way more on the beginning end of things. Because loving this baby has brought a new way of interacting with the world.

I feel as though becoming a parent has sharpened my senses...even everyday experiences seem to carry more weight. I see things through the eyes of a mother now...and for a woman who was on the heavy end of empathetic and sentimental to begin with lets just say it's like going through life in Technicolor. I'm struggling with describing this accurately but it's as if I feel more connected to humanity in general...the father walking the supermarket aisle with his daughter, grandparents pushing a stroller through the park, siblings chasing each other down the street. I know, I know...it is all a bit over the top...but I'll tell you something...I really feel it. And I know I'm not alone. Tonight Bert and I were watching a sweet and sappy movie (I will keep the name to myself to maintain his confidentiality) and at a particularly sweet and sappy point he turned to me to see if I had tears in my eyes, which of course I did. He then commented that he was touched by my "sweetness" and it made him think of Rhea and imagine that she would be moved by sweet things too...because she was half mine. It's like that with almost everything...and it truly does enhance the day to day of life.

Which brings me back to the excitement I feel about bringing Rhea home to New England...I have spent the last three days getting teary eyed thinking about the moment that I can put Rhea in my Mom's arms and sit together at the kitchen table and talk while the background noise of my Dad's ham radio wafts up from the cellar...I think about walking her through Nola's gardens so she can appreciate the beauty that can be created by human hands (not just any hands but the hands of people I love)...I imagine dipping her feet in the water at Packard's and listening to Charlie call her "terrible cute"...I see her by my side while celebrating my other babies growing up...Josie off to conquer the world and Alex, my sweet Caca...graduating high school. I see her being won over by John aka the baby whisperer. I imagine the quiet smile of Dax contrasting with what I'm sure will be Jake's instinctive baby friendly talk and goofy face making. I think of all these things and I feel so excited and alive and connected.

I know I'm not the first to feel these things and that my wonder at the changes taking place in my life has been explored, discussed and written about by many a parent...but the reality is it doesn't matter...it's new to me and certainly worth recognizing and opening myself up to. All this said, perhaps the sweetest realization of all is that this is just the beginning of beginning....