There really is a baby coming...

Preparing for baby number 2 is oh so different...there is precious little obsessing about each and every change in my body (cripes I was still recovering from Rhea when I got pregnant again...and none of you need to remind me that it was just about TWO YEARS later). There is actually very little fanfare about the whole thing in general.

Sometimes I feel like I am in this pregnancy alone. With Rhea, Bert and I were constantly talking about "the baby" and wondering about "the baby" and hoping good thoughts for "the baby" and I was basically being waited on with all the sweetness of Bert's being. Lots of cut up fruit, glasses of water with straws and ice, spontaneous gifts of overpriced but delicious massage oil etc, etc, etc. Well this time around...not so much.

I know this is understandable given that on December 3rd 2006, the focus of our family shifted from being exclusively about the two of us, to being almost exclusively about Rhea. So now the way Bert shows the sweetness of his entire being is by picking up the slack with Rhea when I am feeling particularly tired, or managing the bedtime routine solo and basically just trying to take care of her as much as he can. But it does get lonely out here in pregnancy land...

But little Rhea, in her sweet two and a half year old way, has joined me on this journey in a way that I have realized I should take the time to appreciate more. She is so very excited about her "baby Stashu" and loves to give my tummy kisses and "squeezes". She is very concerned that Stashu has enough pacifiers and sippy cups (we actually had to go on a pacifier run the other day...nevermind that Rhea never used a pacifier as a baby), and the right car seat, and continuously asks about what he might look like when he comes out.

We have been talking a lot about birth so that I can prepare her for what she can expect and it amazes me how much she retains and how much she really seems to understand what is going on. Our midwives lent us this amazing book called Hello Baby and Rhea loves to read it over and over again. She delights in my giant belly and does her best to keep her elbows, knees and feet from too much rough contact. She has started to shift her behavior from pretending to be a baby (as she did early in my pregancy) to pretending to be a Mama and she is so tender and nurturing with her baby dolls that it always warms my heart and makes me feel that I must have done something right with her.

Here is a picture of her during a recent home visit with our Midwife Nancy. While Nancy was listening to my belly for baby Stashu's heartbeat, Rhea was doing this...


I honestly could not love her more than I do right now...but I think that all of the time and all of the time I feel my love stretched and my appreciation for who she is grow.

When we were interviewing midwives one said something that has stuck in my head. She said that second babies tend to enter the world in a much calmer way and with a much calmer disposition. She attributed this to the fact that less of a fuss was made of them from the moment of conception through birth and beyond. I have held onto that little nugget of knowledge whenever I start to feel guilty about things such as finding my ultrasound pictures on the floor of the car, or forgetting which week of pregnancy I am in, or realizing that I can't remember the last time I took a prenatal vitamin. Inevitably there are times when the panic starts to creep in and I think "how are we going to manage two children and what the heck were we thinking with this whole idea anyway and when am I ever going to get some semblance of my body back to myself and poor Rhea how is she going to adjust?????"

So during these times I think of Rhea and remember that we are actually giving her quite a gift with this new sibling. I think of how this pregnancy alone has already positively impacted her life and know that even with all the transitions and adjustments and compromises that are sure to come, there will also be moments of joy and sharing of love and understanding and downright bliss. I know that Rhea will have someone to share her childhood with, to remember the same things (though maybe in different ways), to laugh with, to cry with, to roll her eyes at across the dining room table when her Mama or Papa are on some kind of surely embarrassing tirade about something. These next couple of years may be challenging but I know they will be worth it not only in the end...but throughout the journey as well.

So bring it on baby Stashu...we are waiting for you and I'm thinking we will be ready.